Excerpt from Tariq Masood’s speeches.
I was about to propose to this woman. She already had two children from a prior relationship. I felt uncomfortable in accepting the responsibility of raising those two children. I already had children of my own. Now I have to take on additional responsibility. This was something I was not comfortable with.
I consulted with a colleague who is also a scholar. He teaches at an institution. I asked him if there was anything in the Quran and Sunnah encouraging one to marry someone with children. Then I will be inclined.
He recited the verse from the Quran:
“…your stepdaughters under your guardianship (hujurikum)…” (4:23)
I got the hint. Let me explain.
Allah says:
“Prohibited for you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts, your maternal aunts, daughters of brother, daughters of sister, your mothers who suckled you, your sisters through suckling, mothers of your wives and your step-daughters under your care who are born of your women with whom you have had intercourse,-though if you have not had intercourse with them, there is no sin on you,-and the wives of your sons from your loins, and that you combine two sisters (in wedlock), except what has passed…” (4:23)
The Quran in this verse mentions those women whom one is forbidden to marry. It begins with the mother. daughters.
It doesn’t specify in the verse those mothers who ‘raised you’.
It doesn’t specify in the verse those daughters under your ‘guardianship’.
It doesn’t specify in the verse those sisters that you ‘grew up together with’.
After mentioning paternal aunts, maternal aunts, and several relationships, it mentions stepdaughters. But here it specifies those stepdaughters ‘under your care/guardianship’ (hujurikum).
Scholars mention that a stepdaughter in any condition whether she is under your care/guardianship or not. It’s prohibited to marry her. Suppose you got married to a woman, even if divorce happens still, you are not permitted to marry the stepdaughter.
Why then is there a need to mention “…under your care/guardianship…” (4:23)?
The purpose here is not to make it a condition per se. Because a stepdaughter whether she is under your guardianship or not is prohibited.
Scholars mention the Quran does not make it a condition but highlights this custom in the society of that time. Companions of Prophet (saw) when they marry a woman, they would take responsibility for the stepdaughter or children.
The practice of a mother raising children. This is a common custom irrespective of all cultures and societies. This is why Quran doesn’t specify a mother that ‘raised you’. Even Non-Muslims do this.
Allah knew that a time would come among Muslims when a woman would be rejected for marriage for the sole reason that someone would have to take responsibility for raising her children.
Allah highlighted this custom and practice of the Companions of the Prophet (saw) those ‘stepdaughters that are under your care/guardianship’. So that whenever the Muslim reads this verse he knows the Companions of the Prophet (saw) would raise and take care of the stepdaughters.
So that whoever is following the Companions of the Prophet (saw) in marrying a woman with children should not feel embarrassed in doing so.
After reading that verse, I didn’t care for anyone’s opinion. I didn’t factor in what society had to say. I proposed and got married to that woman.
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